A part of you wants to listen and help. The other part of you wants to run and get away from that person when they show up. They have no idea that you are feeling the way you are. They don’t know that you desperately wish they would stop complaining.
What they are doing is dumping their garbage on us. Nobody wants garbage dumped on them. That’s exactly what people like that are doing. If they realized that is how we saw them they would possibly quit doing it. Often they think we want to hear these things as if somehow or another we get some positive blessing for listening to the problems that others have.
Yes, we may have volunteered to have a listening ear in order to try and help them analyze the problem. Maybe we thought we could possibly come up with a solution to it. Often the conversation goes from a quality conversation concerning the struggles of someone but switches to a bashing party. This is when there is a real problem with the situation.
Somewhere in the mix the person with the problem thinks that if they tell us enough garbage about someone we will blame that other person instead of them. What happens is they want to tell us more and more bad about the other person. They try to make the other person look as bad as possible so we won’t blame them for whatever is going on in the situation at hand.
Even though their intent was not to dump their garbage on us that’s eventually what happens. This is a normal decaying process that takes place when we try to make ourselves look good and make sure everyone blames the other person instead of us.
The interesting thing is most people would not dump real garbage on anyone let alone their friends and coworkers. What are you doing with your garbage? Are you dumping it on others or are you sending it to the garbage dump where it belongs, never to be seen again.